Joshua Haynes

Age: 34, Years climbing: 11, Hometown: Tulsa, OK, Favorite product: SOLUTION

blog:
www.haynesclimbing.com

Do you clip bolts, plug cams, stack pads, or crush ice?

I mostly stack pads, but like to clip bolts as well.

How long have you been an athlete with La Sportiva?

I was with Sportiva for about 6 years, and had to step down from the team for various reasons. I am now back on board after a 2 year hiatus, and extremely psyched.

What are some of your lifetime climbing goals?

Matt Hoffman said something like: “If I died and my body wasn’t completely wrecked, then I’d feel like I'd wasted it.” I think that pretty much sums it up.

Do you have a claim to fame?

You know those ugly nerdy guys that some how end up with a super hot wife? That’s me.

Do you have any vices?

Bigfoot shows. I can’t not watch them, and I am always optimistic that this will be the time they find them.

What makes you tick as a climber and in the real world?

Whatever project and or projects I am currently obsessing over.

What drives you to climb? The money? The groupies? The fame? What?

That’s like asking me “what drives me to breathe”. If I stop... I die.

What is your favorite movie?

Possibly “Harry and the Hendersons”

Do you have any nicknames? Explain:

Currently I have two. LadyHawk is the one my wife gave me... it’s a long “romantic” story. While J-Flex is what the fabulous boys of Rawk Tawk (No Send Nate and Low Ball Jack) call me. And of course, there are all the red head nicknames as well (ginger, fire crotch, el fuego, ect...)

What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep? Why?

When I found the perfect Ambulance for sale, I woke up at 6am on a Tuesday to catch a flight to L.A. Once I arrived and bought it, I was so excited to get home (Texas at the time) and begin the tweak out phase, that I drove straight through the night. I think I arrived back in Dallas around 6pm, which meant I had been awake for 36 straight hours. Needless to say, I don't remember much of the drive.

If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?

UTAH... as in Johnny Utah!

What did you have for lunch yesterday?

Turkey Sandwich. I know, I know... kind of boring, BUT... I did have cheese and butter grits for dinner.

If you could hook up a thought monitor to your head, would you see pictures, hear words or would music be playing?

Music would be playing in the background while pictures scrolled through. 

What really scares you about climbing?

Not being able to do it anymore.

If your life was made into a movie, what would it be called?

The Destination

Where would you live if it could be anywhere in the world?

Utopia. Where the there is an endless amount of boulders, and the weather is a constant 45-55 degrees and sunny.

Have no food or have no gasoline?

No gas for sure. As long as there is fuel in the body, I can always walk, crawl, or roll my way to the crag. Plus, you wouldn’t like me when I’m Hangry.

Do you wish you had sexier feet?

They’re sexier than Sasquatch’s feet. Although, I guess a Squatch would probably disagree with me.